


How Foolish I Feel For Thinking You Cared

by BeautyIsInTheBookshelves



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Lydia Branwell/Alec Lightwood, Curses, Edom (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s01e12 Malec, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hypnotism, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Magnus Bane in Edom, Protective Alec Lightwood, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29915151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautyIsInTheBookshelves/pseuds/BeautyIsInTheBookshelves
Summary: Magnus, after many decades of failed romances and failed relationships, thought that Alec Lightwood would be the one that could be his forever and stay by his side until the end. But after hearing Alec's inability to put any care into the feelings they felt for each other was going to get married to a woman he didn't love, the high warlock gives up.That day, in a drunken state, Magnus jumps off the balcony of his loft. Before he could fully die and cross over, his father comes and takes advantage of the situation. He resurrects his son to do his dirty work, replacing most of the blood in his veins with demon ichor and keeping him drugged with venom that Magnus himself just believes himself dead.After six months of battling these huge and dangerous Edom demons and mourning the suicide of Magnus, Alec finds the mastermind attacking him and the city is actually Magnus. Whom everyone thought dead. Now, he needs to find him again, save him from this dark situation he's in, make up for what he had done and let out the feelings that have been eating at him since his wedding day.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Asmodeus & Magnus Bane, Lydia Branwell & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	How Foolish I Feel For Thinking You Cared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is a short fic that I have had in the back of my mind for months that I wanted to share with you all really bad. I hope that you enjoy it. I'll try and update you on it by next week! 😁🤗🧡
> 
> (BTW, let me know if there are spelling mistakes! I don't have a beta reader.)

It's was Alec's wedding day.

And Magnus could not sit here and look at the books in front of him.

He just couldn't deal with looking for this damn Book of the White right now. Not when everything he thought was going good in his long life was now being thrown right back into his face. All the hope... gone. The high warlock huffed, moving a tuffet of hair away from his face before slamming another book burrowed from a fellow high warlock closed. He pulled himself up from the floor, kicking some of the other books away from him. Suddenly not caring about the dents he was going to inevitably cause. He yanked off the top of a wine he had been saving for a special occasion. He wished to share this with Alec when they would have finally spoke about their relationship becoming something more than a thought. Magnus cursed at himself for even thinking of it. _It was a fantasy at this point_ , he thought as he started chugging it right from the spout. He didn't want to think about Alec right now. Not at all. Not ever again. He was getting married and not thinking of him. So he shouldn't think of him either. Magnus slid down against the wall, downing the alcohol as fast as he could without choking. He pulled the wine away, looking at the bottle and seeing it empty. Only a sad, single drop fell against his chest. _You and me too little droplet_. He scoffed, throwing the glass to the side and watching as it shattered along the walls of his apothecary. The warlock waved his hand and summoned another one, downing it just as fast as before.

Why did he even think that he could make it work with Alexander? A shadowhunter? No matter how much he tried to see the good in them, he was always wrong. They were all the same. Caring about their people before themselves. For better or for worse. They would rather be unhappy and die that way then letting anyone in. Alec sighed, trying to get rid of all of the thoughts that came to mind of that strong yet hubristic hazel-eyed shadowhunter. Why did he waste his time on a man more in love with his job than himself?

_"What about love?"_

Magnus looked over to the wall across, seeing the familiar vase and set up where he and Alec had, what he was sure, was their last conversation about perhaps falling in love and giving your all to love to someone else. He rolled his eyes.

 _"Even shadowhunters fall in love. Trust tell me that you're in love with Lydia... and I'll stop."_ he remembered saying.

That look on Alec's face remained stoic then. _"I don't know."_ he said. Just getting that answer out of him was like pulling on teeth.

Magnus rolled his eyes again, shaking the bottle that had become empty rather fast once more. He threw that one aside more generously before slowly forcing himself up. He looked at himself in the wide mirror across from him. Was it him? If he was normal, maybe not so flirty... would Alec have stayed? No. Alec wouldn't have stayed regardless. Unless he bore some damn rune. The warlock scoffed. "I don't need... I'm... fuck..." he couldn't even speak to himself seriously.

 _"Why do you keep pushing?"_ he asked then, stuttering. Magnus had originally found it cute. Now, he really wished he had just punched him in that moment. _"Y-You're confusing me!"_

_"Confusion is part of it. That's how you find out if something is there. Emotions are never a black and white."_

"Everything is black and white to him. There is nothing else in his world. It was always either his damn parabatai, his sister or his... his Institute." Magnus said, rushing to his fridge and pulling out the chilled bottle of hard liquor. Magnus searched for a chaser, but then rolled his eyes. He didn't care and downed three shots at once.

"They're more like... symptoms... symptoms! Love is more a sickness than falling in the fucking thing!" he said aloud, remembering what he said. "You lose your breath... every time they enter the room... unless... you're the very last thing they wish to look at or speak to. Your heart beats faster when you walk by... your skin tingles when you think of how... inconsiderate and heedless he... he... he... that damn bastard!"

He threw the bottle again, watching it shatter with the alcohol still inside. Magnus fished through the fridge again, this time taking out a beer. The same beer he bought because he noticed Alec drinking it at the Institute and eyeing it after the Luke fiasco. He grabbed three, downing two of them fast. Magnus laid down on the ground for a moment. The cold and cool granite pressing through his shirt and making him shiver. His fingers grazing the glass from the bottle and faint scratches cutting through his skin. Slowly, the alcohol started to hit his brain. Like a hammer on a boxing match bell. The loft became fuzzy and warm. Like a happy dream. He chuckled, slowly sitting up and struggling to walk properly.

_"I know you feel what I feel Alec..."_

Magnus shook his head, chuckling at his words.

 _"You don't have any clue what I feel."_ was his response. And just like every response before, it was cold. _"So back off."_

Magnus frowned, covered his forehead with the heel of his palms and slamming with each cry. "I don't deserve it either... I don't deserve it either... I don't deserve it either..." he gasped.

Magnus stopped. Feeling a cool breeze against his back. He turned over, looking and seeing his balcony doors open. The deep crimson curtains flapping with the cool summer breeze. He walked over, pressing his hands to the railing. Listening to the strange quiet that was his neighborhood this time of day. He sighed, leaning his head to the concrete and tapping his nail against a patch of dried pigeon poop.

"You could lose your family... your career... everything. And you won't risk it for no... no man... no warlock... no one. But you'll risk it for Lydia. You'll risk your happiness for that blonde." he said, shaking his head. He sat up. "You hear that?! He'd risk it all for her! But not for someone... someone like me!" he screamed, downing the last beer. "That damn nephilim doesn't deserve someone like me. I could do better. No... the world could do better. Do you hear that you fucking white feathered pieces of shit?! Find someone better to find your stupid book... help your stupid nephilim... be rid of your damn problems. I'm done... I'm... done..." he said, throwing his back onto the patio's wide railing. He chuckled.

_"You want me to give up my life for you?"_

Magnus closed his eyes, hiccuping. "You've already given up your life. While I for one have wasted mine." he said. He pulled his feet off of the floor and felt himself for a moment, begin to fly. The wind was hitting his sides beautifully yet comfortingly and he for once, felt no worries, no problems, no hate in his heart. He just existed here. He smiled for a second.

_"I have to do what's right for me!"_

Magnus rubbed his lips together and let go, before pain enveloped his back and legs.

The high warlock's body fell down onto a moving taxi. The advertisement at the top of fall to the side and the weight of Magnus and the speed he went ended up crashing the top. The pedestrians and the driver all screeched in shock and fear, seeing a body fall down in the middle of the afternoon.

"Oh my god!"

"Holy shit!"

"What happened?!"

"Someone call 911!"

"Get him off, get him off!"

The driver rushed out of the driver's seat, rushing to the top and helping Magnus' still body down alongside some of the other bystanders. A gigantic puddle of blood now dripped down when Magnus was moved. The driver started sobbing, seeing glass on the warlock's cheeks and temples and a small puddle of blood dripping from the inner corner of his left eye. Magnus groaned, only hearing a ringing in his ear and faint muffling.

"Where's the blood coming from?!"

"Put pressure to the back!"

"He might have hit his head!"

"Can you hear me? Sir, can you hear me?"

"Oh Allah."

"Is there anyone we can call for you?"

"Did you call an ambulance!"

"Fucking do something!!"

Magnus groaned, not listening to any of them. He laid his head back, as everything stopped and his black vision turned white instead. The driver erupted an angry scream, not feeling any sort of pulse or seeing Magnus react. "Fuck! Fuck!" he said.

"He jumped... he jumped..." cried a woman, the phone with the ambulance.

Suddenly, the ground slowly started to shake. Everyone around looked around, hoping that it would be the ambulance or some kind of help for the man. But the driver looked down, seeing the dark blood from Magnus that dripped down from his back start moving on its own. Slowly turning into a circle around him. "What the-"

He was silenced as a fire erupted on the entire street. Everyone and everything insight on that street erupted into flames. The bright fire consuming everyone around Magnus and everyone who had attempted to help. The screams of pain were loud, but ceased immediately as their skin and bones turned to ash and their blood burned black and stained the street. Magnus stayed there on the floor, still as blood continued dripping from his face.

A hum came alongside some screeching when the fire stopped. Slowly, a figure approached. "Goodness by Lilith. My poor, poor boy. I told you that being up here would be your downfall. Don't worry. I'll make it better." he said. "Pick him up and let's go. We need to hurry before his soul crosses."

* * *

"By the blessings of the angels, please welcome the newly wedded couple. Please welcome, Alec and Lydia Lightwood."

Alec tried to smile. He tried to seem excited. But something in him didn't want his lips to curl happily. It was supposed to be a happy moment. He was holding Lydia's hand. their bracelet and necklace shining with the lights, petals upon petals of roses fell on his head and he was surrounded by people who were so happy for him. Proud of him. It was all that he had ever wanted. Respect. Recognition. And he had got it, even got it for Lydia. But here he was... a piece of him deciding that something was definately missing. Alec raised his eyebrow, totally confused as he and Lydia took a champagne flute of his sister. He took the drink and continued with the reception. Dancing with his bride. Dancing with his siblings. Rubbing shoulders with the representatives from the Clave. But it was so empty. Why did he feel so strange? The sun set and the reception slowly came to an end. Alec bowed to the representatives of the Clave, wishing them a good night and turning to Lydia. Who had to sit on a chair and nurse her feet from the heels. "Are you okay?" he asked, walking over to her and kneeling right in front of her.

"I'm fine. Pretty hurts you know." she said, throwing aside the pumps and starting to remove her earrings. "I should be the one asking you that."

"Why?" he said back, raising his eyebrow.

"You've been pouting all night."

"I don't pout."

"But you have been."

Alec sighed. "Goodness Lydia. I'm fine though. Really." he said, turning his head and seeing his sister drunkenly slap his parabatai's back, begging for a piggy back ride. He smiled. "My family is exonerated and safe thanks to you. And now you and I are going to be leading this institute. Together. I have nothing to worry about."

Lydia hummed. "I don't know what it is... but you seem sad." she said. "Is it your little brother maybe?"

"No. No, it's not that. I understand why he couldn't there. Everyone gets sick sometimes. Even shadowhunters." he said. "It's just... I don't know. Something doesn't feel right. There's a part of that just doesn't want me to sit right and enjoy myself."

"I think that it's just the fact that you, me and everyone here is having a nice and almost normal night when everything had been so scary, different and above all, dangerous." she said to him, patting his shoulder.

Alec sighed. "Yeah... yeah... you're right."

"Come. We should head off to bed." she said.

"Bed?! Bed... wait we-"

"Please don't worry. We don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

Alec sighed, taking her hand and helping her up. As soon as he did, the doors opened again. "Alec! Alec, you have to listen to me. This time it's important! Alec!"

Alec looked over, seeing Clary rush into the ballroom. He sighed. "I swear to the angels, if this is about that damn vampire, I-"

"It's Magnus." she said.

Alec's eyes widened and he stood up immediately. His heart started pounding and his anxiety spiked. _Magnus?_

"What?" Jace said before he could, walking over with Izzy. Who was sipping a jug of water to sober up.

"What happened to Magnus?" Lydia asked her, standing up as well.

"I got a call from Simon. A vampire by his loft got into contact with someone at that Dumort from Brooklyn. By Magnus' place. He said that-that someone jumped from the building and fell down on to a taxi. He rushed over to get in contact with someone else to see if we could get shadow world help... but... but..." she stuttered.

"But what?" Lydia called, rubbing her shoulder.

"But what Fray. What happened?!" Alec cried.

"Alec." Jace called, seeing how white his knuckles were from clenching into a tight fist.

"I don't know what happened. The call ended and Simon doesn't know much either." Clary called. "The vamp just said that it looked like it was Magnus Bane."

Alec cursed. Lydia looked over at him. "Let's get changed and head over there. We should investigate." she said. "Maybe it was just a mundane that looked like him."

"But if it is, this could be serious." Izzy added, now sober hearing the importance of the situation before her.

"Right. But remember, let's not get too worked up." Jace said, looking at his parabatai. Who had gotten way too pale for his liking.

Alec nodded, shaking his head. "Okay... okay... let's hurry though."

But when they arrived however, nothing seemed to change. Nothing at all was there to lessen their worries and what their fear. The police were everywhere along that Brooklyn street. With worried and even some crying mundanes alongside the sidewalks, looking on with pity and sorrow. Alec rushed through, glamoured, ignoring the cries of his sister to stay back. He continued, moving to the body laying on the street. His heart sank, seeing that that vampire was right. And he could tell better than anyone. Magnus lay there on the street. Completely static and covered in dried blood. His eyes shut while two paramedics desperately tried to feel for a pulse.

"By the angel..." Lydia gasped, seeing everything unfold.

"Magnus no." Izzy gasped, looking down at the body.

Alec's hand shook violently, seeing the blood around him.

"There was a high alcohol level in his body. It might be possible that it was a drunken accident that he slipped." one of the paramedics cried.

"Every witness said that they don't believe so." the officer said back. "We think that it was an actual suicide."

"If we was drunk, that isn't his fault!"

"He seemed to be in the somewhat okay state of mind enough to do it from what others have said. We have to rule it as such. I'm sorry."

Alec looked down at Magnus, seeing as his hand was let go. "No... No... Magnus..." he said, falling down onto his knees as the paramedics covered his body with a blanket.

"You hate to see it." one said.

"Poor guy. He was probably alone." the other said. "Help me carry him to the body bag."

"No... no... by the angels please no..." Alec cried.

"Alec." Jace yelled, rushing to his brother's side. He shook his head, trying not to look at Magnus as Alec reached out to touch Magnus' covered body. "Alec, no!"

"It's not possible! It's not possible!"

"Alec, look at me."

"He's not dead... this is a trick... he's messing with me again... he's messing with me, Magnus!"

"Alec, listen to me. Listen to me."

"He's the high warlock of Brooklyn, he can't be dead! He's not dead!"

"Alec, look at me!" Jace yelled, shaking his brother's shoulders and looking at him. His heart broke a bit, seeing the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. He's gone. Alec-"

"I did this." Alec cried. "I did this... I killed him. I killed him."

"No you didn't!" Lydia cried, rushing to his side. "You didn't do this! You don't know what happened!"

"I did this! I caused this! Fuck... fuck... fuck..." Alec cursed, covering his eyes.

Jace and Lydia slowly pulled him away from the scene as Magnus was pulled away. Clary sobbed with him, slowly pulling him close in a hug. "I'm so sorry..." she gasped in between tears.

Alec exhaled loudly, hugging her back. "Dammit." he muttered.

_"I will not ask again..."_

Apparently, he really meant it.

* * *

"A very nice job my pretties. I very nice job." the demon king called, looking at the abandoned mansion that he would now call a home while topside. It was beautifully decorated. And most importantly, empty. "And... it's owners?"

The hugest demon nearest to him, one that looked a mutated blank panther and beetle together, growled. Opening it's mouth and dropping the hand of what appeared to be a white woman with a scar along her elbow. He smiled. "Good job." he said to it, petting it gently. "Now... let us hurry along and create our pool."

The demons slowly moved with him. The cape flapping close to their heads. They descended the wide stairs to the wide pool in the basement of the place. Who had this place had money to afford this. Good thing their money would help his plan. The water inside of it completely empty, but the smell of chlorine still lingered. He walked over to the edge with a smile. "Begin." he ordered.

All of the smaller more monkey like demons jumped inside of the pools and begun to attack one another. They chewed on each other, gnashing sharp teeth to attack and try and become victorious. But none of them were as they were all bitten up at and pounced on. Slowly, a giant wave of their combined ichor filled the pool. Slowly coming up to the tippy top of the pool. The thick black liquid swishing around slightly as the larger demons fished out the limbs and bones left over from the smaller demon's sacrifice. He turned over with a satisfied hum, seeing the bloody body of Magnus laying on the back of one of the demons. He hummed, kneeling down and patting his unmoving cheek. "Plently of time left." he said with a smile. He slowly tore off his clothes, only leaving the jewelry on. The demon picked Magnus up bridal style, Magnus' necklaces echoing around the room, and threw him into the pool of ichor unceremoniously. Slowly, he floated to the bottom for a moment. No air bubbles came. The demon hummed before he moved his hand into the liquid and waving his magic into it. Suddenly, it illuminated a silvery glow for a moment and the ichor began to bubble slightly and emit a steam.

Silence.

The demon smiled, seeing and hearing a loud splash as Magnus flew back up with a pained and terrifying scream. His eyes were bloodshot, but the wounds were pretty much gone. Asmodeus smiled, waving his hand and catching the warlock with a string of invisible, magical rope as he trued to swim away. He pulled him close and pressed a finger to his temple while holding him in a chokehold.

"Now, now, now. Is that any way to greet your father?" he asked, pushing the pink magic into him. Magnus coughed loudly, trying to move away. But Magnus's eyes slowly rolled all the way up to the marble ceiling as the sedative magic got to him. His mouth opened as he did like he was snoring. Asmodeus snapped his fingers. A demon moved over, stabbing the warlock with his stinger. Slowly, a lime green venom moved inside of him. Magnus cursed, trying to struggle. But all in vain.

"Y-You... You..." he tried to speak. But he couldn't. His eyes closed as he slowly started falling down to the pool again.

Asmodeus chuckled. "This will be fun huh?" he said, letting him go and sink back into the pool.


End file.
